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Journals

I go through phases in my life where I love to journal. There are times I would rather do anything but! Recently I started my 6th journal since I very first started way back in 1998, aged “8 and 1/3”. I often look back through the books, read the odd random entry. Sometimes I get carried away, I flip to a random page and start reading, and I don’t stop until I reach the end.

I did that tonight. When I write in my journals I sometimes don’t see the point. I don’t get why I write what I write, what use it has. But tonight I read months worth of entries from my teens. It’s sad for me to see that I’ve not always been the person I am today, but I can clearly see how what I went through has shaped me into the person I am today. And I realised something as I sat reading about all my troubles I had back then. I realised that through everything, I’ve always had the constant love of my family. Friends come and go, not everyone stays in your life. You can’t always please people, but no matter what, my family is written about in every book. They are my constant. They are there for me even when I don’t realise. 

I see now, more than ever, how much my parents and family love me. How much they sacrifice for me. What they go through when I’m sick, how they drop everything to be there for me. I’m blessed. I know that now, and I will know it for the rest of forever. 

  

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Dayyyyy 2

2/366 days…and today was pretty good. No cooked breakfast (thought it was the parents New Years resolution to make me a hot brekkie every morning…alas no!)

All the boys took the dog out for a walk/bike ride/bird watch and mum and I stayed in and made the most if the peace and quiet! 

This evening we went for a family trip out (plus a niece and nephew thrown in) to the cinema. We went to our local community cinema, which before the last few weeks I hadn’t been to for at least a decade, probably longer! It’s all been refurbished inside but still looks like the same cinema I screamed my way though Jurassic park at, or watched Pocahontas at, as well as hundred of other great films! 

We went to watch Star Wars. I’m not a Star Wars fan at all, my brother made us watch one of the films on Christmas Eve…the one were they’re all in like a fighting arena and there’s three people tied to posts…whichever one that is! Well, I chose to dry my hair instead of watch half of it on Christmas Eve, so tonight was not looking hopeful. Tonight on the other hand was pretty good, I even did the whole gasping thing when the shocking bit happened. Quite liked it, had me guessing right the way through, trying to guess the plot. 

Lesson of the day, never judge a book by it’s cover, or prequels for that matter! 

Health wise…I’m doing pretty good. Off work sick at the mo, going back around the 15th so about 2 weeks left to take it easy and try and stay well so I can be back causing fun and trouble on the ward! 

Day 2 of the new year:

Healthy ✔️

Happy ✔️ 

Doing good!! 🙂 x

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2016!!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

I actually had a ball last night! I went out with my brother Richard and one of my best friends Leah. We went for a meal, then to the cinema (almost died laughing, and then almost weed a bit it was THAT funny haha!) then sat in Jef making our music videos in a random car park until the New Years countdown. Then we danced in the car park before we went to get Becca from her work and continue the fun. (I should explain for people who don’t know, that Jef (with one f) is my car.)

  
No big fancy celebrations needed. We had J2Os and Shloer to toast the new year, and a load of our Christmas goodies to snack on. Most fun I’ve had in a while! Considering last year I had just got out of HDU and been sent home with strict instructions to rest, so I welcomed in 2015 fast asleep in bed. I’m pretty sure starting 2014 was a similar situation, I was off work sick, I think I fell asleep before midnight and my parents woke me up to welcome in the new year, and then we all hugged and went to bed. I brought in 2013 by working a night shift…I was emptying a catheter bag at the exact moment the ward sister came and hugged me and wished me a happy new year. So after that run of New Years eves, last night was amazing! 

Today wasn’t too bad a New Year’s Day either. Woken up to a cooked breakfast from the parents ❤️ after a little lie in! Then lazed around a bit before I went out to buy a new TV in the sales. My other TV works just fine for TV and my Apple TV, but for some reason it’s weird when I play DVDs, randomly turns them off half way through, so I haven’t been able to watch DVDs for ages and I got new DVDs for Christmas so wanted to start watching them! I bought a cheap DVD player thinking I was being smart, not having to pay out loads of money for a new TV, but then if I tried to alter the sound or press anything other than the subtitles button (they always came up in Arabic every time I started a film) the DVD player would “update” and reset itself, so I couldn’t get very far into the films because I couldn’t get past menu options. But oh my days, I’m in love with this TV! I swear, I may give it a name. 

After the drama I had trying to set the beautiful new TV up in my room I finally got to enjoy some family time and a lovely Chinese meal, with my sister and the kids here too. 

All in all a good day 1 of 366 this year. I had no resolutions, but a few goals. One of my goals is to actually try and stay in work more, I’m sure there’s something I can do to control my life a bit more, and so I’m going to try it. I’ll possibly give you the run downs of things that have and haven’t worked as they happen throughout the year! Another goal is to buy a house/save really hard all year to be able to buy a house even if my health prevents me actually buying one. 

As for the new year new me thing, I’m sorry to say I’m not going to try that. I’ve already been trying positive changes and making good habits in my life. And I’m going to continue doing that, not just for this year, but forever, bettering myself with long term goals and habits, and making them last a life time not just for the year.

So to everyone who reads this, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I wish you not what you want this year, but what you need. That whatever life throws at you, you will have the courage, strength and determination to face it, and do so with a smile. That way, you’ll find happiness even in the sad times. Much love to you all! Xx